9/11 and walking around

I'm stuck at a point where I don't really know if people are that different, truly oblivious, rude, or so self-centered that they miss what's happening around them? This has been a re-occuring thing in my life but it was highlighted while I waited to get into the olympics and has been nagging at me.

While waiting for 45 minutes of security to get into the olympic events, I felt so alone. I really am a giant over here. I was a head over everyone within 50 people of me, an I mean everyone I felt like I was floating through a different world then the rest of the crowd. I could feel the heat on my body but luckily got to breath fresh air. I just couldn't comprehend why people would squeeze so tight and push so hard. Don't people realize that spread out and organized will get the same results for everyone and make the journey infinitely more pleasant? The one problem is that it means you have to trust others to play by the rules, which works in a lot of places, but not china. Since I could see everything I watched as people jumped fences, cut lines, and did everything possible to avoid the wait and screw over people. One guy even tried to fight his way through a small girl who was an olympic volunteer. (she stood her ground but her tried to just keep walking and go over her, in the US I would have stepped in [she was tiny and although he was much bigger than her he was still about 8 inches shorter then me] , but here, I feel like it would have made things worse for her and who knows what would have happened to me) Its people like that who really fuck over everyone else. How hard is group think? Have humans really "evolved" past whats best for the species?

I'm not saying that one should put others over oneself all the time. I'm not that selfless and I don't expect others to be. But really, if people just went along with the security it would have allowed all the people regulating the line to check bags, run x-rays machines and check ticekts, dropping the overall wait time and everyone wins... fucking bullshit. Here's the worst part, I did all this thinking as an old guy with a stroller kept trying to run me over. He had basically just been cutting through the crowd and running over peoples ankles with the baby stroller until you got out of the way. Most people moved prior because they thought he had an infant and others got hit and quickly moved. I however was different for two reasons, both coming from my unique size. 1. I saw him coming well in advance and could see over the top and into the stroller 2. There isn't room for someone my size to move out of the way easily in the crowd.

Here's the thing, there was no child in the stroller, he had camera equipment and what not. it was just some bullshit to beat the system. So got to me, I didn't move and he tried to run into me and muttered in Chinese (assuming I knew nothing of his language of course, the personailty of assuming foreigners are idiots goes hand in hand with the other stuff). I saw this coming and just put my heel on his wheel and stood there. Lets just say the man was not happy. I mean if you are trying to beat hte system and don't how pissed can you be? Had he just accepted the wait it wouldn't have been so bad to not only wait longer than you planned, but also because of a foreigner... but really, how sleazy can you be, using the premise of a kid to cut the line. needless to say when the line forked, he went the other way. I like to think I did my part to make the beijing olympics a better place.

Then about an hour later I had the most opposite experience I could have had. Inside the games, I watched an American win an event. It was amazing to hear hte national anthem and watch a packed stadium rise to their feet and respect another country while the athlete tears up. It sent goosebumps down my arms and made me miss the states. I regained some faith in humanity at that point. After that came a truely amazing moment. A Chinese man won a gold. The place went pretty crazy. However, it was the medal ceremony that got me. I could feel it in the air and I tingled all over, every hair standing tall on my entire body. The energy was like nothin I've ever felt and the place echoed with the thousands of voices following thier anthem. I don't know which was more special, having a moment as a lone American in my section (i'm assumign since I was hte only white person and the only one who was excited during the race when she won) and feeling the pride within and the respect given by thousands of others or being part of a moment for hte largest population in the world. I can only imagine during the actual games what it was like. This ties back into the selfish versus selfless. In this case letting someone else have their moment may have been greater (maybe because i knew nothing of the US athlete and don't give the para-olympics as much credit as I should)to experience. it pure volume and national pride was like nothing i've ever seen stateside in person.

so all that made me much more aware of what was going on around me an I come back to the root question of people once again: if people are that different, truly oblivious, rude, or so self-centered that they miss what's happening around them? These giant crowds in beijing make a very interesting way to observe this. The question I have is about ones awareness of others. In the streets and walkways, many people move aside and stay out of hte center and other peoples way seemingly without effort. They are conditioned as slower walkers to get out of the way. However, this isn't everyone, so people have no qualms about slowing down everyone else. I don't know if they don't care or aren't aware. I really have no idea. Personally I can actually feel someone approaching me from any direction. Until recently I assumed everyone could do this (probably b/c TV and movies show it). I figured it was just your vestibular sense in combination with your brain and other senses at work. However, apparently not everyone is as aware of their surrounds. I've had this sense of awareness as long as I can remember. I know other people have it, because I've talked about it before and they knew or did it as well. The thing is I don't know why some people never falter about it, yet at the same time other people are oblivious to everyone else walking.

My thoughts on this ability are as follow. Maybe its a thing with the brain where we that have it are the people who feel safer and better when we know everything around us. We are basically taking in intel on the world around us constantly and processsing at full speed. We're the people who like to sit in the corner and look out at resteraunts and have a view of everything around us. Or tt could arise from athletics, which is why so many people I know would have it and I have it. Everyone is capable but playing contact sports and what not makes you more aware of everyone else and you develop it at practice like anything else. Perhaps it is just a natural talent. Some people have it, some don't. Another guess that is becoming more prominent every day here is that everyone has it but some people jsut ignore it, and say fuck everyone else. Finally, it could be that everyone has it, but most people lack the sense of self to use it. Its there but our lives are so convaluded that most people will never know its there.

All I know is that I have it and I move aside on the rare time there is a faster walker (or bike) and i'd like it if other people did to. I try to chalk it up to people not knowing, but i have a strong feeling that some people just don't care.

This is all very strange because of the some cases where I see the group mentality in ways I never did in the US, more to come on this when I think. anyways, this is really long and it says nothing and i'm tired. I'll have to save 9/11 for another day when I have the energy. It was different to be in another country for it. but I can't right that small book right now, so FIN