Recently I think I figured out why I enjoy it here so much. I feel that Beijing lives and breathes in a way so similar to the way I do. Its an odd feeling. I've heard other people say that they felt a city had a pulse, but i've never really felt that in touch with a place before. I always thought people who said that were slightly crazy, now that i'm included in the group, I know they are. Having lived in a number of places and gone to many schools and gotten to various areas, I rarely feel "at home" or "at peace" the way I do here. There is always something around that makes it hard to live or makes me feel a little out of place. However, in Beijing I feel like I've found and equilibrium and a match. In most areas I feel out of place and that everything is moving at a different pace than me and that every so often I miss a beat because I am moving to fast and don't stop to slow down or things are just odd.
After 4 years in Chapel Hill at UNC I felt at peace and happy with the life there, but every so often I just felt out of place. Some of this may have been the presence of Carrboro trying to turn me into a hippie, or just the unavoidable past that comes with living in a place and changing so drastically over my time there. I mean I love Chapel Hill and so many of the people there, but often there were things that I couldn't get away from and other times I just felt a little too conservative, and i felt like i knew how to disappear there just a little too well. On an aside, I really missed Chapel Hill today. I was thinking about hte summer and my pool. Swim Coaching really is the greatest job in the world and I wish it was something that i could happily do for my entire life. Somedays I wish I had 180 screaming kids, some coaches who were being trouble, and parents with unanswerable questions. Those are the best of days. Today if I could have woken up, coached morning practice, played a round of disc golf with Joey and Sean, gotten some $5 footlongs, played some rock band and gone back to the pool for afternoon practice, relaxed, smoked a hookah, and been back in Beijing in a blink, I would have been ecstatic. That life is blissful. If I could have done that then just been back in Beijing, man, life would be perfect. Life doesn't get much better than that. Oh and ending that aside with another aside, I guess this must be my home now since I think about having a vacation. You don't take vacations from a place you are staying, you take one from where you live. Beijing is home. End aside.
Back to the city. Beijing is something different. While living here, it seems as though everything has slowed down and I can move freely through life with little worrying. My life moves slower even with the faster pace of the big city. I can remember every day and thoughts and moments in ways I couldn't in the past. I'm constantly grinning and happy even as I sit at work or walk through the cold. There is a pulse to every place and every town and I've found one that matches mine, just right. So what does that make Beijing to me? It makes it a place of its own, sitting in its own bubble. Beijing does what it wants, when it wants, how it wants, regardless of what is the norm, accepted or should be done. Yet at the same time this city is constantly positioning it self and maintaining an image and outward display to minimize any negative portrayal. Its a wire-act of really not caring what others think, but maintaining enough credibility and passion that you can get away with this attitude.
Even within Beijing the people are the same. They dance in the parks and laugh and smile. Young couples walk hand in hand just to walk and find a nice place to talk, unaware that couples 50 years older are doing the same (the key difference is that I haven't seen any 60-70 year olds making out on a park bench at 9pm). Every so often I look around and see whats happening and wonder what I would have thought if someone told me this was happening in Beijing when I was in the states. Either way though, I feel like the personality of the city reflects my personality and it feels great. Now if only the smog would clear out...
Outside of these thoughts, the last week or so has been great. As I mentioned before, the weekend was amazing, the best i've had in Beijing thus far. To top it off, we've been working out a Halloween party which should be fun, but more importantly keeps me busy and entertained at work as shit hits the fan and planning goes wrong. So basically, last weekend Annie suggested a Halloween party and josh pseudo volunteered his place. From there, we went to actually meaning it, to holy crap this might take some planning, followed by about 50 facebook messages, half of which was about costumes, and finally settling it with a single phone call (facebook can be such a pain in the ass sometimes). Then we got the entertainment of random people wanting to come because the event showed up on facebook and was closed but not private. However, that leaves a phone number visible which we gave in case people get lost. So we got some random texts asking to come to our event. Flattering, but sketch. Oh, and now its the day before Halloween I still don't have a costume (oh well, this is an annual tradition). It should be good though. Plus, I get the feeling it will be the first Halloween celebration for about half a dozen people, which should be rather entertaining. So for every hour i spend at work, i spend about 10 minutes working on this and laughing. Distractions make the day fly by, you should all find one. My other new one is Twitter (http://twitter.com/foolless), yet another way to screw around on the web, but not as bad as facebook if you're at work.
At work itself, I'm waiting for someone to get back to me, because hopefully i'll be moving up in the world and getting to do some serious "SEO" work which i found rather entertaining. But for now, its been more translations and intern work with the occasional entertaining task or hour spent researching. But if I do get to work on this new project, it'll be awesome. I'll get to work with some smart people all around the corporation and use that brain of mine. I'm stoked. Clearly, I still have quite a bit of nerd in me from my mathlete days, but thinking about optimizing a website and playing the game that is using the google algorhythm and still having a useful and content filled site for users is quite appealing. Damn, I'm a nerd, i need some glasses...
Observations:
-When I listen to lil wayne I like to stick my tongue out, this isn't the best idea when walking around the town
-i'm becoming a rap addict
-having lost your innocence doesn't mean you can't act innocent
-you can't play moose with 40's taped to your hands (but yes russ, you are still a champion)
-work clothes aren't so bad if a) i get to pick them b) there is no tie c)you're taking them off (its a lot more satisfying to take off a dress shirt with 8 buttons than a t-shirt)
-i'm really effing tall
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